We already won

Geek culture isn’t ‘taking over.’ That already happened.

It is with great joy I bring you the following op-ed: We won! The war is over. Go grab a nurse in Times Square and lay a big wet one on her (or him). The verdict is in. The jocks lost to the nerds, the cynics have retreated against the enlightened onslaught of the dreamers. The folks who asked “what if” got their answer while the ones who ask ‘why?’ were left behind like so many Kurt Cameron movie adaptations (see what I did there?).

Today is Halloween, 2014, the biggest official Cosplay day of the year. We’ve de-fanged the witless downers and non-believers by changing the terminology from ‘dress-up’ to cosplay, comic book to graphic novel and super-hero movie to blockbuster. But it hasn’t been an easy road for those of us who embrace fantasy and sci-fi culture. Like so many others, I was ridiculed in my early years for my love of (nearly) all things geek.

It's no secret that superhero and sci-fi films (and culture) have become the biggest entertainment properties on Earth. In 2012, I had a boyhood dream come true when Marvel Studio’s The Avengers became the single-highest grossing box office film of all time (worldwide) raking in $1.6 billion. Audiences the world over threw mad love (and crazy cash!) at Marvel’s iconic superhero mash-up film. Since I have been reading the Avengers since age 7 (thats almost 40 years of being a fan for anyone keeping track), seeing Marvel's The Avengers was one of the greatest moments of my life. 

Assembling Winners

The Avengers were hands down my favorite comic book growing up. Five years ago, you likely didn’t even know that name, not if you grew up without appreciating Marvel comics. I guess it’s no surprise that the latest Avengers (Age of Ultron) movie trailer broke all kinds of internet and YouTube viewing records. The phenomenon is just beginning. 

The explosion of Marvel’s success at the box office shows these movies resonate with many people and are here to stay. I guess I wasn’t reading “funny books”–as my mom would call them–when I was younger. Of course if Mom had ever taken the time to read Crisis on Infinite Earths, Judge Dredd, The Walking Dead, The Dark Phoenix Saga or the The Dark Knight Returns, she might rethink that terminology. 

A Future Worth Exploring

And as more people then ever in the history of cinema flock to these films of larger-than-life heroes and heroic figures, the cynics and critics keep trying to take cheap knocks at the characters I have spent a lifetime reading about, cherishing and even creating. TV shows like the Walking Dead, Arrow and Gotham continue to resonate with everyone, not just geek culture. Praying for it to end? Won’t happen. 

Give up now, join us. These shows are fun, well-handled, well-scripted, well-acted and compelling movies that only keep getting better. While I won’t be wearing any costumes this Halloween, I will be at my desk, giggling like a school girl as I pour over all the Marvel studios and Warner Brothers/DC movie news. 

My Condolences 

For those that don’t like it, I'm really sorry the optimistic young child who used to reside in you died striving against that boring, dismissive, closed-minded grump you’ve become. Just know it’s not too late to revert back to the cooler, funner, brighter-eyed you. Simply embrace the fact that this [geek] culture is here to stay and will only keep getting bigger. Join us!

Between Comicons, Cosplay, Superhero TV and movies, comic books, novels and graphic novels boring stuff–that is people and content with no imagination–just doesn’t cut it anymore. Just waive the white flag, because in case you didn’t hear, we won. 

Arthur Milano is a blogger, writer, designer and avid geek culture enthusiast who revels in his continuing role as a single Dad, ad man, and video game podcaster.

Top Ten iOS 7 Fails

As a lifelong Apple adopter (one could even say down to my core) I am he who hangs on every word from the voices from Cuppertino and I virally promote every new Apple software and hardware milestone. So you could imagine my personal levels of heightened shock and awe at the disappointing Apple adopter experience of the long-awaited—and long promoted—Apple iOS 7. 

For those non-Appellations or if you are one of the 143 people left in the developed world who know nothing about Apple products, iOS 7 is the operating system that runs Apple's legion of portable devices including iPads, iPods and iPhones. 

And I hate it. 

Why you ask? Well here are ten reasons I particularly loathe iOS 7 (cover your ears, kids): 

10. The User Interface – A nice light font, thin, airy look and clean design. Now where have I seen this before? Starts with "An" and ends with "Droid"? There's a name for this kind of emulation. Let's say it together; C-O-P-Y-C-A-T. 

9. Icons — The cool, graphically pleasing visual iconography of iOS 6 has gone from "Wow" to "WTF". The new icons aren't innovation, they're cheap clip art. Shame on you Apple. Shame. 

8. Peek-A--Boo see-through screens – No one needs to see through the screen they're looking at. It's annoying, it's unnecessary and it's a huge WTF to the developers. 

7. 3D Graphics Effects – When you rotate or move the screen on your device a visual 3D effect can be experienced and… wait, what? What is this, an mini IMAX movie? Why on EARTH would you spend THAT kind of development time and manpower behind… an effect. Again, WTF!? 

6. Non-Intuitive Functionality Changes – Did you know there more than a dozen Apps and countless YouTube videos created to SIMPLY to teach me how to do things I used to do without assistance? Closing Apps, previewing usage, Siri, and WiFi usage parameters. All new, and all for no good reason. Thanks Apple. 

5. WiFi connectivity – There are close to a dozen antennas in every model of the iPhone 4, 4S, 5, 5C and 5S. Wanna know how I know? Because nothing network-enabled works without connection to a WiFi network. No App updates, no games or video, even some calls drop like a bad college elective. Wait, did you just say your phone has trouble making and holding calls? Wha–?

4. Introducing Siri – again – Look for upgrades to the previously Beta-only Siri software. Sure, now you can chose between a male or female voice. But it still 'eff's up' when I say things like "call home" or "nearest gas station". Now there are entirely new features for us to learn that Siri is incapable of performing. 

3. Can you say………..? – Have you noticed how long it takes to download info, access the web or even access Apps now? Some Apps I have to actually re-plug in my contact information to. Oh good, because I wasn't already frustrated enough with my iPhone's new shortcomings. Now I can remind all my Apps who I am again. Thanks Apple. 

2. Technicolor Terror – Why did Apple choose to take a perfectly clean, sophisticated color palette and make it more… gross? The child-like, basic color scheme is at best unappealing, though words like repulsive and painful also come to mind. 

1. Introducing, the not-so-smart Smart Phone – All this makes for a sordid user experience. Its a sad day when Apple, for the first time in it's history, forgoes its long-standing award-winning design, architecture and experience to follow somebody else's standard. Sorry Steve. It's all falling apart… fast. 

So why should you care? 

While there are an alarming number of reports of people getting motion sickness from the new screen animations (having a hard time with that one), clearly I am not the only one contemplating a reload of iOS6. 

Hopefully you don't really care what I think but you can view some of what I have shared as a wake-up call. Apple has lead the charge for innovation and uncompromising quality for so long, now without the company's visionary leader, there is no voice, no vision. 

Not staying true to Steve Job's vision of simplicity of design and innovative forward-thinking programming architecture just may well be the greatest fail of all. 

On Building A Better You

I've been lately working with all my kids on helping them build a stronger, positive mental constitution. We work out together, we discuss the events of our days and we discuss current events. I HIGHLY discourage negativity, teasing and self-loathing. There is no use comparing ourselves to someone else or to calling out each others flaws and weaknesses. We accept shortcomings. They are there. We know it. We move on. 

When we work out, we commonly play basketball together. One of the little nuggets I was taught when I was coached earlier in life was that when shooting around, you never leave the court on a miss. 

In other words. always leave on a make.

Its sort of Zen thing. Leave the basketball court on a swish (a made shot for those that are not familiar this thought). Don't leave on a missed shot. Always leave on a positive—on a win. It helps make the workout and the experience a positive one.

It goes hand-in-hand with some of these other favorites of mine: 

• Always say I love you to at least one person you care about every night

• Do at least one thing everyday that makes you feel good

• Have a Hobby or life passion… then add another one. Repeat.

• Do at least one thing, every year, you've never done before

• Reject bad habits, embrace good ones

• Surround yourself with people that bring you up–release the rest

• Learn the rules before breaking them

• Create something 

… and of course, always leave on a make. 

Always.

Five things to remember when you know everything

An open note to all children: Don't wait another moment! 

Go conquer the world while you still have it all figured out.

So, it's 2013 and children are smarter than ever. It's true. Empowered by the internet those born after 1992 in this country have grown up with the entire, combined history of humanity at their fingertips. The movies, the games, the entertainment; it's all so overwhelming. This generation has everything-and I mean everything–at their disposal. 

And they know it. 

You can't argue with this generation. You can't reason with them, you can't even impart knowledge, religion or spirituality of any kind. This isn't to say we shouldn't try–just that it's important for parents, educators and concerned adults to know, kids only half listen to anything we have to say. 

So since they all know everything already here are some useful tips to anyone currently age 20 and younger:

1. Parents know nothing – Have parents ever been cool? Ever? Of course not. They can't be, I mean, it's not like they know what it's like to be a kid, right? They don't know what it's like, to get up and day-after-day go do the same thing and like… gosh, like do stuff for a couple of straight hours and stuff. Hah! Next you'll be telling me they actually used to BE kids…
2. Hard work is too hard, don't do it – things like businesses, relationships, careers and life goals are such a waste of time. Why try at anything when you can "chill-lax" from an already difficult life filled with school, chores nagging parents and gaming? It's not like hard work gets you anything right? I mean, all the cool kids, they just have stuff handed to them and it's all bar-b-ques and baseball game box seats–all day everyday. You don't need to work hard, you need to win the lottery!
   
   Fun thought! – And don't forget to complain that you never win the lottery despite the fact that you don't play and you're under-aged.
   
   
3. TV is your friend – Just think of all the wildly successful super-celebrities who started their career by sitting on the couch and eating snacks until dinner time. These incredibly famous and wealthy super stars of inertia (non-existent though they may be) are imagined proof that doing nothing pays big.
   
   Fun Quiz! What's better than TV? YouTube!
4. Dream Big! Be sure to spend quality time worrying about people who don't worry about you. You know, important stuff like asking; who's cool? Answer? Anyone under 25! What are they doing, what's their favorite YouTube video, who did they break up with yesterday? These are vitally important facts that are worth untold hours and even days of your time. Be sure to stalk your favorite band on Twitter. Because, of the hundreds of thousands of fans they could want—YOU'RE the one they've been waiting for!
   
   Fun fact! Stalking also works amazingly well on athletes, musicians, politicians, actors and popular kids at school. What's a little restraining order between you anyway? I mean, why live YOUR life, when someone else is doing it better, right?
5. School is for chumps – Duh! This one one is wicked easy! School gets in the way of all kinds of fun stuff like X-BOX and PS3 time, FaceBook updates, porn, eating pizza with friends and watching YouTube videos where each one is funnier than the last.
   
   Honesty, all you're ever going to get out of school is friends, self respect, a potential life that might matter, a future, a sense of purpose, sports, a sense of community, a place to expand your mind and parts in the school play. Who needs any of that when in just ten short years of eating snacks in the living room and watching TV you can fast track yourself to Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, obesity, eyestrain and lethargy?

So what's it all mean? Time to live it up! Your folks will live forever, so why prepare for the future? That's hard and tough when instead you can eat Funyuns, send endless text messages that start and end with LOL and veg-out watching cartoon marathons. 

Remember, anything anyone ever accomplished took a bunch of time and was wicked hard. Why do any of that when you have 500 channels and pretzel M-and-M's?

My Random 2012 Rewind

Time once again, for some of my most random thoughts – from the
"funtastic to the fantastic", here are 12 things we all lived through in 2012, through the eyes of those of us in the corner.

Gangnam of Thieves – Korean rapper Psy's Gangnam Style has now officially become THE most watched video of all time. The one-hit wonder has spawned a number of spin-offs and spoofs that have taken YouTube by storm. The once controversial artist has been widely accepted by his countrymen, MTV and the White House alike. A previous 'political thug' in his homeland of South Korea, Psy does now have a legit place in history. We will likely hear no more from this admittedly infectious little jam and that's just fine by me.

Boo Boo Knows Best – During this presidential election year, the  MOST watched television programming during the election of this country's, perhaps even the world's most important position of power was not the RNC or the Democratic conventions, it wasn't even the debates. It was coverage of America's newest sweetheart, pudgy princess of purgatory, Honey Boo Boo. Maybe the apocalypse did occur... 


"We will not fade quietly into the night–!" – So yet another 'end-of-days' has come and gone. Those crafty Mayans had a calendar that abruptly ended on December 21, 2012 which left many pondering the end of the world as we know it. As we all know, not very much happened, though there was a massive spike in tourism to Peru to see the Mayan ruins. The Mayans were of course, known for building a massive civilization and empire but honestly, they didn't even see the Spaniards coming. 


Rhymes with Snit – From out of the languishing ranks of lost souls from the Grand Old Party came a silver-tongued super-villian hell bent on sewing seeds of mistrust, deceit and lies throughout our fragile economy and deceiving nearly half of our countrymen that he was all that and a bag of chips on a shoulder. MItt Romney's laughable campaign of vapid emptiness took the country by storm until even Mitt's own kin folk woke up, hours before the election and said "WTF?" Swing and a miss, Mitt.

Free Eye Glasses with Every Paycheck! – ... aaaand speaking of poor judgement, the lofty referee lockout at the beginning of this year's NFL season saw a phalanx of scab referees hit the field–and football fans everywhere hit the bar, hit the bottle and hit the floor in utter disbelief as scores of horrifically bad calls bellowed when bad whistles blew for four weeks that utterly decimated the NFL with some to the most atrocious calling since Dewey vs Truman.

"And there came a day..." – I'm still reeling from the onscreen awesomeness that was Marvel's The Avengers, a near-perfect super-hero mash-up that smashed box office records, our perception of hero movies and puny Gods alike. With a $1.5 billion box office performance, the Avengers is just heating up. Expect more hero adventures in Thor and Iron man in 2013. As my favorite book growing up, the Avengers were, how do you say? The bomb diggity–! There, I said it and there's no taking it back.


Darth Vader gets Goofy – In one the most mesmerizing business buyouts of ALL TIME, Disney purchases the Star Wars intellectual property and rights to the franchise from an increasingly perplexing George Lucas for a mere $4.05 billion. While I am ELATED at the prospect of more SW movies, didn't George make like, $4 billion in merchandising alone? "Join me and together we can rule the empire...!" Done, done and done.


Standing Room Only – In one of 2013's most bizarre mass media events, Hollywood bad boy and conservative whack-a-doodle, Clint Eastwood has a conversation in front of the entire non-Honey-Boo-Boo-watching country with an invisible Barack Obama. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Dirty Harry goes off on an empty chair in front of... well all of us. I don't think the RNC has been this embarrassed since Sarah Pailin went all "hockey Mom" with her "drill-baby-drill!" bit.

The Accessible Red Planet – In September, a VERY under-reported event and the next step in man's exploration of space unfolded as the Martian Rover, Curiosity, landed safely on the Red Planet. It's two-year mission is to take it's 19+ cameras and feed back images and even live video of our small blushing sister planet. Curiosity will open up new discussions about the nature of Mars. Get your ray-guns ready...

Massacres on Main Street – the mass murders in a movie theater in Aurora Colorado and Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut show us how out-of-control our gun culture has become. I don't care where you stand on the gun control issue, if this country had it's sh*t together with properly enforced gun laws, 20 kindergarten kids and scores of othewr innocents would still be alive today. Period. Good thing Automatic Rifles are selling out in record numbers across the US. Nope, don't see how that could POSSIBLY make things worse. Not one bit. 

Brain Food – AMC's family-friendly series chronicals a group of survivors as they make their way through a zombie apocalypse. Complete with enough gore and bloodletting to rival a pork processing plant, The Walking Dead, based on the phenomenally well written monthly comic from Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore is the show that everyone is somehow just now discovering. The first half of the astonishingly well written season three is done and the story picks up again February 2013. If you haven't watched it yet – well good God what are you waiting for? It is waayyy beyond a guilty little pleasure–its an American icon.

Greatest Love of All – We said goodbye to a host of VIP-level personalities in 2012, but none will impact me more than the untimely death of R and B/Pop dive Whitney Houston. no one defined the 1980's pop scene like Whitney. Her demise and slow sinking into the mire of heavy drug use does nothing in my eyes to diminish her fantastic contributions to music. RIP girl, you're the Greatest!

Happy New Year – to all of you who have been sent to the corner–thanks for reading! 2013 is coming hard and fast and the new year will have a new format and new stuff for me to get int trouble over. See you then!

Dumber & Dumber

"OMG! Like–No waaaayyy! OMG! LOL! Like, Fo' Sho!"

As far as I can tell, today's teenagers are exactly the same teenagers we were. So much for progress.

"All of this has happened before, all of this will happen again."

Every geeky sci-fi nut knows these famous words from the hugely popular ScyFy series, Battlestar Galactica (2004–2008)–and how much those words can resonate with our present-day lives. Nowhere is this more evident than in the modern lives of America's 21st century adolescents and teenagers.

Spaceman Spiff gets pawned by–Mom?

Like every generation before it, today's 11-19 year-olds believe they are the first to attempt to 'get away' with things that are against their parents wishes. You know the usual suspects; sneaking alcohol, breaking something and hiding it, stealing candy from a local drug store or super market. Or the holy grail of sneakiness; surfing porn.

Look gang, we were smart back in the day. And we were cool. We went out did stuff and got caught. Eventually. Every last one of us.

Every. Last. One.

You see, to my reckoning, approximately zero people get away with breaking the rules. Sure, sure, you can Google "unsolved mysteries" or criminals that have gotten away, blah, blah, blah. Thanks for missing the point. The point isn't to do a head count of all the sneaky, under-handed stuff we and others have gotten away with–no, dear reader, the lesson is that you will get caught. Period. Someone, somewhere knows something is wrong, I promise you.

Even if that someone is you.

An open note to America's youth. Since I know my kids and several of their friends (and teachers) read some of these posts, I thought I would take this moment to remind you all of a few things you may either not have learned or have already forgotten. Feel free to take notes (that would be copy and paste for most of you), as you review, reflect on how ANY of these thoughts might apply to you. Ready? Let's begin.

Aren't they all?

1. Naughty, naughty. Porn is is the ultimate online temptation. But did you know, today's ISP's allows parents (you know the ones that pay for and manage the internet access) to see your computer's activity online by ID number, so erasing the history in your browser does not stop us from knowing what you're up to. Also, the house's dwindling lotion supply is often another hint.

2. Busted! Store surveillance–it's been a retail fixture since the dark ages (for most of you, that means before 1985) and if you are using a five-finger discount on acquiring things like gum, candy and magazines, they know what you're doing–and soon, so will the police.

3. Whoa–go and let your light shine down. Hiding stuff under your bed? Really? You do realize this is one of the FIRST places we (parents) look when we are looking for something that's missing, right?

4. You are NOT the first ANYTHING. You are not the first child to smoke pot. You are not the first kid to steal a sip from your parent's liquor supply. You are not the first kid to watch internet porn. Speaking on behalf of all parents, we all did it–and we all got caught. You'll get caught, too.

5. Riddle me this. Every teenager over the course of human history, believes he or she knows everything, or is at least smarter than their parents/guardians/chaperones/authority figures. It's genetic. We were smarter than our folks, too. We didn't get away with anything either.

Today, teenagers have so much more to contend with then teenagers from just 20 years ago. Texting, sexting, porn, 500-channels, YouTube, Twitter, FaceBook, Pintrest and home-made drugs on top of acne, self-image concerns and raging hormones. It can be managed. Remember that your focus and your behavior determine your life.

And the choices you make have a tendency of following you for a long, long time. I know it sounds dumb but trust me.

Been there, done that.