Friday, October 4, 2013

Top Ten iOS 7 Fails


As a lifelong Apple adopter (one could even say down to my core) I am he who hangs on every word from the voices from Cuppertino and I virally promote every new Apple software and hardware milestone. So you could imagine my personal levels of heightened shock and awe at the disappointing Apple adopter experience of the long-awaited—and long promoted—Apple iOS 7. 

For those non-Appellations or if you are one of the 143 people left in the developed world who know nothing about Apple products, iOS 7 is the operating system that runs Apple's legion of portable devices including iPads, iPods and iPhones

And I hate it

Why you ask? Well here are ten reasons I particularly loathe iOS 7 (cover your ears, kids): 

10. The User Interface – A nice light font, thin, airy look and clean design. Now where have I seen this before? Starts with "An" and ends with "Droid"? There's a name for this kind of emulation. Let's say it together; C-O-P-Y-C-A-T. 

9. Icons — The cool, graphically pleasing visual iconography of iOS 6 has gone from "Wow" to "WTF". The new icons aren't innovation, they're cheap clip art. Shame on you Apple. Shame. 

8. Peek-A--Boo see-through screens – No one needs to see through the screen they're looking at. It's annoying, it's unnecessary and it's a huge WTF to the developers. 

7. 3D Graphics Effects – When you rotate or move the screen on your device a visual 3D effect can be experienced and… wait, what? What is this, an mini IMAX movie? Why on EARTH would you spend THAT kind of development time and manpower behind… an effect. Again, WTF!? 

6. Non-Intuitive Functionality Changes – Did you know there more than a dozen Apps and countless YouTube videos created to SIMPLY to teach me how to do things I used to do without assistance? Closing Apps, previewing usage, Siri, and WiFi usage parameters. All new, and all for no good reason. Thanks Apple. 

5. WiFi connectivity – There are close to a dozen antennas in every model of the iPhone 4, 4S, 5, 5C and 5S. Wanna know how I know? Because nothing network-enabled works without connection to a WiFi network. No App updates, no games or video, even some calls drop like a bad college elective. Wait, did you just say your phone has trouble making and holding calls? Wha–?

4. Introducing Siri – again – Look for upgrades to the previously Beta-only Siri software. Sure, now you can chose between a male or female voice. But it still 'eff's up' when I say things like "call home" or "nearest gas station". Now there are entirely new features for us to learn that Siri is incapable of performing. 

3. Can you say………..? – Have you noticed how long it takes to download info, access the web or even access Apps now? Some Apps I have to actually re-plug in my contact information to. Oh good, because I wasn't already frustrated enough with my iPhone's new shortcomings. Now I can remind all my Apps who I am again. Thanks Apple. 

2. Technicolor Terror – Why did Apple choose to take a perfectly clean, sophisticated color palette and make it more… gross? The child-like, basic color scheme is at best unappealing, though words like repulsive and painful also come to mind. 

1. Introducing, the not-so-smart Smart Phone – All this makes for a sordid user experience. Its a sad day when Apple, for the first time in it's history, forgoes its long-standing award-winning design, architecture and experience to follow somebody else's standard. Sorry Steve. It's all falling apart… fast. 

So why should you care? 

While there are an alarming number of reports of people getting motion sickness from the new screen animations (having a hard time with that one), clearly I am not the only one contemplating a reload of iOS6. 

Hopefully you don't really care what I think but you can view some of what I have shared as a wake-up call. Apple has lead the charge for innovation and uncompromising quality for so long, now without the company's visionary leader, there is no voice, no vision. 

Not staying true to Steve Job's vision of simplicity of design and innovative forward-thinking programming architecture just may well be the greatest fail of all. 

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2 comments:

  1. This, my friend, is the concern about the collapse of Apple. Not only have they stopped supporting those of us in the Enterprise market by discontinuing their server lines, but now they are releasing copy cats of current tech. Remember those great days of excitement when something new and innovative like the candy coated iMac came out! And the joy of knowing before hand at the retail level because there were no Apple Stores but an engineer at the Cupertino campus leaked it... yes the predecessor of Wiki-leaks was born!

    As I recently had to inform my boss, it was a bit unacceptable for someone at his level to have a professional looking iPhone 5s with cartoonish, neon clip-art as icons. But hey, what COO and CEO wouldn't want that! >.<. The only nifty feature that made us smile in IT, was the fingerprint scanner. Until we learned that law enforcement could now use it to force you to unlock your phone during something as simple as a traffic stop if they felt there was "probable cause" you were planning your next terrorist activity with it.

    Still, with it comes the realization that Apple no longer sets the bar that other companies have to reach. Instead they are struggling to reach the bar set by their competition.

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    1. Couldn't agree more m'man! I didn't even know about the whole discontinued support of the Enterprise market. Not surprising though.

      Once again the Jobs-less Apple is working hard to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Remember in say... 2007, when Apple was still a minority share of the technology and computing market space? Damn those were some good days weren't they? They were hungry, they were smart, they were innovative. They have discarded the very thinking that made them who they are and made them #1.

      A few more releases like this and Apple will become the next DELL. And that... that's just sad.

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