Mortified In The Darkness.

A long time ago, in a movie theater thousands of miles away… a nine-year old boy's heart was broken.

Early June, 1977, Boston, Massachusetts. It was the best of times—mainly because I didn't know any better. There was a mad buzz about this new Star Wars flick. Maybe you’ve heard of it? I bugged my Mom for weeks to take me to see it. She had heard of it and had VERY little interest–but with my persistence (Can we go, huh? Can we? Can we go? Can we go, huh? Can we?), I was able to sway her to the dark side and coerce her to plunk down the $2 ticket price to take me to the flick that everyone was talking about.

Star Wars changed my life! It was big, loud, inventive full of imagination and wonder and showed off some of the best Sci-Fi anyone had ever seen anywhere! EVER! I was a fan for life, hooked from the moment the lights dimmed. 

Oh Snap! They make movies like this?

The Death Star blew me away (ha ha! get it?) and I remember seeing that opening Star Destroyer sequence as it roared by overhead for what, at that time, seemed like weeks! Does this fantastic thing ever stop? It's huge! The audience was gasping and transfixed. Lasers bursting, loud explosions, the sound effects. I was on sensory overload – and I was loving every minute of it!

Then, the most unbelievable realization hit me – one that will haunt me to the end of my days. Some people attending the movie actually had NO IDEA what they were watching when they saw that movie. It completely dumb-founded some movie-goers.

Like, my Mom.

Somewhere between taking off from Mos Eisely and being caught in the Death Star's space-monster-ridden trash compactor, my Mom and her boyfriend both went to sleep. Through Star Wars? Really? How is THAT even possible?

"Mom!!"
(snoring, shudders awake) "– oh, what?"
"Wake up!"
"Oh, ok…"

"You, quit napping during the movie!"

The concept of someone falling asleep during what was one of the greatest action movies ever made, was impossible for me to comprehend. I was bewildered, astonished! Even to this day. Look, I understand a lot of people didn't (and–gasp! — still don't) enjoy these movies on a level that I do, but to fall asleep? Really?

I have heard accounts of how people back in the early days of silent cinema would go to the movies (then exclusively silent films, sometimes with music–they didn't become "talkies" for decades), and would literally run screaming from theaters because a locomotive was filmed coming down the tracks at the viewers and they thought it was a real train bearing down on them. Or like the infamous War of The Worlds radio broadcast from 1938 where people had actually thought we were living through an alien invasion from Mars.

"People everywhere loved Star Wars–even PEOPLE!"

It has also been said that people in 1977, were largely unprepared for the hi-tech visual and sensory onslaught that became the Star Wars franchise. It’s been further theorized that audiences didn't have a background of special effects exposure, scientific understanding and experiential maturity to fully grasp what Lucas and company presented to them back in '77. 

Some dismissed it as 'foolishness' (a common critique Star Wars enjoys even today) or simply disregarded as an incomprehensible collection of wild, out-of-this-world ideas. When this happens, our brains can feel overloaded and will simply shut down. Or, my Mom simply might not have cared about what she was watching and thought that dark theater was a great opportunity to catch up on some sleep from raising a hyper nine-year old over-stimulated by imagery from campy space movies.

Losing their 'train' of thought...

Whatever overcame them had the exact opposite effect on me. I am a fan boy—a hopeless addict of this stuff for life. What’s more, I have raised a household full of hopelessly addicted sci-fi, gaming and comic book nuts. Yes, even my teenage daughter knows more about the ridiculous details of the Battle of Endor (Ewoks took down the Empire? Really, George?) than most adults.

Maybe my Midi-chlorians are all in an uproar over the thought of my Mom sleeping through Star Wars but I think if you’re a person that dozes off at a Star Wars movie, well my heart is saddened by the loss of the bright-eyed child in you that has long since died.

In the now less-than-prophetic words of Jedi-master Yoda; “Tragic news this is… and unfortunate.”

A Force To Be Reckoned With

The recent release of Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-Ray reminds us of a sense of shock & awe "… from a long time ago…"

I recently purchased the mega-disc set of The Complete Star Wars Saga on Blu-Ray, prompting my girlfriend to ask me; "How many times can you actually re-watch the same movies?" Good question. Let's count, shall we? Kids, grab your abacus!

The answer “forces” me to recall the years of my youth. I was nine when Star Wars first hit the big screen and my life had been altered in ways I can only barely articulate. Though, indulge me dear friends, this was true enlightenment.

Though Jaws (1975), is officially credited to be the first-ever summer blockbuster, Star Wars epitomized this phenomenon. A blockbuster, for those who may not know, is a movie where the lines of moviegoers waiting to get in went out the theater door, down the sidewalk and – you guessed it – around the block, thereby "busting" the block. Remember, this phrase was coined at a time when movie theaters held either single or double screens. A 'megaplex' in downtown Boston was once known to have the unheard of number of four movie screens (gasp!). Back then, Hollywood saw the summer as a dead movie season. After all, who in their right mind would go the movies when you could go swimming, go to the beach or go on a trip? Movies releases were typically slated for late fall or early winter – prime movie release season at the time.

I vividly remember local (and national) TV newscasts interviewing scores of people waiting in lines – often for days – to experience George Lucas's other-world space opera. Sadly, I would see the movie just three times in the original year of release, but that, as they say, was just the beginning.
In 1978, Star Wars ran for six (6) consecutive months, only to be re-released months later in most major markets. The movie was a runaway hit and I couldn’t get enough. I went every weekend for an average of 2-3 continuous showings over the course of the summers of '78 & '79, I estimate I saw this movie roughly 55 – 60 times (keep in mind matinee admission was $1 for kids my age). I just couldn't get enough; the poor story pacing, the campy overacted script, mistake-ridden post-production – none of that mattered. What mattered was how many details my friends and I could discover by seeing it again and again. And Again.

And Again.

"Don't be a Vader-Hater, Son. Now, "Hand" over the remote...!

Then, in 1980, the Empire Strikes Back came to a theater near me. OMG—another one! The ride wasn’t over — it had only just begun! Now older, and on the high of watching Star Wars more than 60 times coursing through my veins, I proceeded to see Empire a whopping 14 times in 1980 alone. Another dozen or so times (thanks again to rereleases!) before 1983 when Return of the Jedi made my head explode with it’s jaw-dropping awesomeness. Was Darth Vader really Luke Skywalker's father? Would Leia & her homeboys be able to save Han from Jabba The Hut in time? Would the rebellion score another major victory against the Empire? As I entered my first year of High School, there were legions of die-hard fans there to share my fascination with.

All told I have viewed each of the six movies somewhere between 30 & 60 times apiece and I’m sure I am well over 200 all-time since VCR's, Cable TV (the original trilogy is run every Christmas, Thanksgiving and Memorial Day on TNT) and DVD's have made these movies available anytime, day or night. Which brings me, finally, to the Blu-Ray release.

You’ll need a decent digital screen, the larger the better, and (of course!) a Blu-Ray player. I recommend a popcorn machine, a healthy supply of vitamin water and remember to shut off your cell phone. 

You’ll be blown away as you fall in love all over again with a story that has captivated two generations of fans. The image clarity is almost unspeakable. The sound is spellbinding and yet, the real gold is the extras. I most likely own every series release since the Gold VHS edition came out. This one "… grinds [the others] up and blasts them into space!" If you have yet to purchase a Blu-Ray player, I understand, but if you love movies like I love movies (just check out my Movie Blog, The Boxed Office) a Blu-Ray player is for you! The added image and sound quality is terrific and the behind the scenes commentary and hands-on documentaries along with the review of the special effects process(es) are too delicious for words – and the SW:TCS Blu-Ray delivers in spades!

To respect those who have NOT purchased this release yet (whoever THOSE left brain, no imagination clones are), I will not divulge any details so you must see the movies for yourself. No Blu-Ray? Visit a friend who has one, do whatever it takes. Yes, they are THAT good!

"Watch or watch not... there is no try."

So to answer the original question; “more than 200 times – and counting!” You can never get enough of a movie series that so epitomizes fantasy, imagination, good overcoming evil and more fantastic science, gadgets and special effects than you can wave a light saber at. Grab your blaster and your wallet; $80 for all six movies in re-mastered digital high definition with surround sound and more than 40 hours of extras – it’s pure heaven, even here in the outer rim territories.

I advise everyone to run, don't walk, and get re-acquainted with the most imaginative and captivating cinematic story-telling experience of the 20th century. (If you need a gentle reminder click here for a comical recap of Star Wars.)

To remind younger readers, Han DID shoot first, don't believe the re-master.

Greedo would never have missed at point-bank range.

"Remember, the force will be with you… always."