Got a definitive thought? Think again.

...or why EVERYTHING is a grey area these days.

Have you noticed the disturbing new trend in the world? Nothing is ever succinct. EVER. Problems are on the rise as solutions or on the decline. Here’s what I mean.

Everything… and I mean EVERYTHING you say, think or do, has an asterisk, an addendum or counterpoint. This means nothing is ever a definitive statement or complete thought. And it's exactly why no one–from Politicians to parents–can ever seem to resolve anything.

To clarify, lets take a little quiz shall we? 

Try convincing someone (not arguing, because then you’re just being a bully) any of the following topics:

• Titanic (1997) is the greatest movie of all time. 
• The President is single-handedly responsible for the state of our economy
• Elvis is the greatest entertainer that ever lived
• The Super Bowl is completely unwatchable due to excessive advertising

Think about each of those statements. They’re all opinion. I can tell you where I fall on each topic, sure, but the point is there are facts—verifiable FACTS—that validate either side of each statement. And so, there is no right or wrong, no one definitive answer and thus, no resolution.

Human beings have displayed a remarkable propensity to be bull-headed on just about everything. The more facts we seem to have at our disposal, the more we seem to ignore facts and stubbornly stick to what we chose, regardless of logic or often even common sense.

It goes something like this: 

James Cameron’s Titanic is the single highest-grossing film (in non-adjusted dollars, that would then be Gone With The Wind from 1939). From a box office standpoint, the movie is a resounding success. However, it is widely seen by film critics as a shoddy, fragmented and meandering screenplay (fact) that makes sitting and watching a 3-hour preamble to a sinking boat disaster film nearly unwatchable (opinion). 

See my point? Nothing is definitive. Both the fact that it is the highest grossing film of all time and the fact that many movie watchers who have been trained in what to look for (like say yours truly) find the film almost impossible to sit through—are both 100% accurate. 

Here’s it is; if nothing you say is definitive or has a counterpoint, then we will decide on anything. Ever. This is the root behind why our nation is so divided on just about every topic from race relations, to religion in schools, to the economy, to terrorism to gun control and immigration, and this is why we will never resolve anything. Too much to consider from both sides and too many counter-points, so we all simply shut down. The breakdown of communication and the erosion of any social progress we have made in the last 100,000 years.

Here’s a little impromptu case study to further my point:  

I’m hungry. 

So get a burger. 

But what about the carcinogens? 

I know, but you like meat. 

Yeah, but methane is destroying the ozone layer. 

Sure, but the animal is already dead and processed. 

And those processed fillers cause cancer. 

Well, there's always tofu or salad.

I know, but I’m still hungry. 

This limbo of point / counterpoint is making us into a society with no ability to make a decision—or immediately regret any decision or opinion instantly. We need to get over this cultural check mate or we will continue to watch the steady erosion of our laws, our progress as a society and even or very way of life.

And that, is a fact. 

"Stop Wearing My Underwear!"

(NOT my boys) Aquaman and Captain America, 'Strike a Pose'

Micheal's immortal words.

With three adolescent and teenage boys in the house––you're sure to hear a number of 'things that make you go hmmm.'

I live in a home, dominated by pre-teen and teenage life forms. As of the writing of this post, I have a feisty 15-year-old daughter, an almost 14-year-old son an twins boys nearly 12. My home is rampant with heightened levels of food intake, testosterone (the boys), hormones (all four) and rolling eyes (mostly my daughter). The level of sarcasm and contempt in our home is at near toxic levels.

What's more, I grew up an only child so I have very little frame-of-reference for the multi-child mayhem that ensues on a daily basis. 

"Animal Print Pants Out of control!"

Sure, I've had my share of wrestling matches ("peacocking"), sports competitions (Hoops and Volleyball were my biggies, though I was no stranger to the bench press, either). So, though I was raised by a struggling, single Mom, I feel I had a well-rounded upbringing. At least, that is, until I had my three sons.

Yet, no matter what your childhood was like, there is little in life that can prepare you for the onslaught of ear smoldering comments that effortlessly spew from the lips of your precious prodigy. I'm not talking about the occasional "Leave me alone!" cried out when one child annoys another past the point of tolerance. Oh no, dear reader, this post is about the raging insanity my three boys blurt out to one another over the course of any given day.

Over the last few months alone, my children have uttered the following statements to one another:

    "Quit showing me your wiener!"
    "Stop eating my food!"
    "Don't kick me in the nuts!"
    "Stop doing the LMFAO "Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle" dance!"
    "Will you please stop following me!"
    "Idiot!"
    "Stop sitting on m y head!"
    "Don't get out of the car at my school–it's weird!"
    "Dad, he's flicking boogers at me again!"

and of course,

    "Stop wearing my underwear!"

Boys will be boys, sure. They have been caught wrestling naked after showers or changing from time spent at the pool. This is stuff I kind of expect. But, erotic break dancing? Really?

"Damn he fly!"

My real concern is that they find this behavior acceptable as adolescents. I always need to be mindful of odd or even deviant behavior developing in them. What they do as adults will be conscious decisions for them later in life. I can't have three boys parading around in their birthday suits while blasting LMFAO–neither their sister nor I will survive.

I've got to say, the "I'm sexy and I know it" culture is a runaway train of hormones and attitude out of control. Of course this conversation isn't old; Elvis was banned from many TV shows and music venues because of his gyrating pelvis, and everyone from Mick Jagger to Steven Tyler to Prince to Madonna have had all kinds of backlash due to their sexually charged entertainment.

It doesn't mean Dad has to like it.

Now I used to get really upset at how my children talk to one another. Less so now. These days, I am convinced this is how they maintain the hierarchy of their pack. Like a wolf pack, they have pecking order and Alpha(s) must subdue the others in order to establish dominance.

Understood.

However, none of this helps me to understand why any of this encourages a young man to wear his sibling's unmentionables. Your brother's T-Shirt or socks? Sure. Hey, as a self-styled kid at heart, I can totally relate to the "wild & crazy guy" schtick. But when it comes to wrapping your package in someone else's loincloth, well, as Hall & Oats once said; "I can't go for that".