Showing posts with label Baby Boomer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby Boomer. Show all posts

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Shush! I wasn't done.

Today's world is so ready to talk—and so ill-equipped to listen—miscommunication is at an all-time high. 

Every high school, college and HR Department should offer a once-a-year course in communication skills training, No one should be exempt from this one. It's stunning to me to encounter the sheer number of people who don't know how to properly communicate. Here's what I mean. Here's your basic conversational dynamic; you speak, I listen. Then, I speak, YOU listen. Simple right? Wrong. No one can seem to do this. No ONE. Not in 7.1 Billion souls on Earth can a single one of us seem to get this right. 

And it's getting worse. 

Not a day goes by when in my teenager-ridden home that at least half of them are talking at once. Let me repeat that. At least two of the four people in the room are talking at the same time, often at full volume (i.e., shouting). 

On Immigrants and Nukes and Shouting Real Loud

Recently, President Obama was speaking about new landmark developments concerning some spectacular policy changes in our county's relationship with Iran. Then, without provocation, several young people in the crowd start shouting—at The President of The United States!—about immigration policy reform. 

Are you kidding me? This is the leader of the free world you dope! Stop talking and let the man speak! He will get to your topic right after he shares how we might be able to avoid World War III by bringing Iran to the table to discuss nuclear disarmament. Kind of sounds important doesn't it? The hecklers would have thought so too if they had taken a moment to shut their mouths, open their ears and listen. 

In all fairness, the president handled himself in a cool and commanding manner, while reminding the hecklers that, "What I'm proposing is the harder path, which is using our democratic process" Obama reminds the passionate, yelling young man,"It won't be as easy as shouting, it requires using our laws to get things done." You can see the exchange, here.

The hecklers would have known this if they had simply LISTENED in their American history class, they would have known the office of the President is NOT a king, that laws are tradition of our democratic process and that means people discussing and voting on said laws to bring about change.

The Lost Art Of Listening 

So if the President can't get a word in on foreign policy, what hope does my living room have? What chance do co-workers have in the free exchange of ideas and concepts if two or more are talking at once? Or worse, when someone is railroading someone else in a conversation (this is when someone is speaking and another party begins speaking right over them before they are finished making their point). 

As I understand things, the exchange of ideas means only one person speaks while one or more listen. I learned that from the Baby-Boomers, the generations that lived through the depression, the American Dust Bowl tragedy of the 1930's and a couple World Wars. Not only do they know how to listen, I would argue they have a thing or two worth hearing, seeing as they have lived through nuclear scares, the overhaul of civil rights and horrific wars coupled with spell-binding social change. 

Children speak over each other, adults bulldoze conversations and even the President of the United States can't seem to get a word in edgewise. We may all be doomed to the horrible consequences of our inability to listen. 

The world, the very Earth itself is crying out for us to change our ways. If we raise generations that only speak and don't listen how will they know not to repeat the same mistakes of previous generations? The world seems to be the same powder keg as it always has been but fewer and fewer people are paying any attention because everyone is talking.

So I pose this question if everyone is speaking at once—in the room, in the country, in the world—then,  who's listening? 
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Monday, February 6, 2012

No plan B–Just Me.


As it turns out my Plan B… is me.

I remember having the 'Plan B' discussion with various, adults as I was growing up. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was a favorite question of any Baby Boomer or adult I would meet. I was a pretty big kid, so I would always hear the same lame-o suggestions. "... what a big fella! You should be a football player!" To which I would reply, "... actually, I want to draw comic books." Which was THE BEST answer you could give because no adult had any frame of reference as to even how to respond. They would always expect something vapid and unimaginative like Policeman, Pilot or Plumber. Mostly jobs they either did or could relate to. [TIME OUT: If you are saying to yourself, 'hey, my Dad's a cop or 'Pilot's make lots of money' I want to applaud you for completely missing the point–you may click away here, it won't get any better from here forward].

Of course now–decades later–I have great answers I would LOVE to give my seven-year-old self. Like 'New Media Content Developer', 'Ad Agency Copywriter' or 'Digital Illustrator' (all positions I have held). I would give just about anything to watch those closed-minded, uninformed heads burst like watermelons on the pavement while trying to figure out what these answers even meant!

Later as I got older, it was evident I wasn't going into the NFL (especially since I really didn't play), the inane questions would cease, mostly because I had declared I was going to art school–and that was where the REAL fun would begin. "Well, that's all well and good, but if it doesn't work out, what's your 'Plan B'?"

Plan-B? What the heck is THAT?

"That's a back-up plan to your life–in case things don't pan out?" What the hell does 'things working out' have to do with my life ambitions? Even at age 11, I knew NOTHING in life went according to plan. Why would I have a 'back-up' plan? I didn't even have a primary plan fully figured out. A back up–what am I, a hard drive?

Look, we all do what we have to do to survive, some borrow money from wealthy parents, others mooch off spouses, some wear paper hats and super-size value meals, some manage hedge funds (whatever THAT means) and others sling rocks. Whatever you do, that is what you have decided is your best, most reasonable path to making a living. But YOU are the plan. What you do does not define who you are, it is simply what you do. Your "plan A" should be to become a success. Period.

Here's the steak: One of my sons wants to be a doctor. I told him he must do everything he can to stack the deck in his favor. You have to put the time in,"pay your dues" get great grades, research the best medical schools and so on. At age 11, he is already asking about Harvard medical school and has human anatomy flash cards.

Success means hard work (or the good fortune of having a wealthy family). I have found many are NOT willing to do what it takes to make their dreams a reality. To conceive of a "Plan B" means the of failure of Plan A is a possibility. At that point, you're lost. You must have a single, cyclopian focus on achieving success. Turns out, that can be much harder than most think. Only a single, driven focus will get you what you're after in life. Everything else is just bad advice.

Legendary east coast ad man, Ernie Schenck had a great dissertation concerning "Plan B". When asking his teenage daughter about her plans for college she shared she wanted to become an actress. He asked her about her plan B to which she replied: "Funny thing about Plan B, Dad. It's amazing how fast it can become plan A."

Amen, young lady. I couldn't have said it better myself.